An Odd Birthday: Thoughts on 38

I never really do much for my birthday. I wouldn't normally go out - I don't really like drinking that much. I can't remember my last birthday party - maybe something at CampMinder? A happy hour or lunch? Given my usually quiet celebration, yesterday's 38th wasn't that different. I woke up and weighed myself - 180.8, the lowest I've been since 2006. Then I watched the sunrise and got some inspiration for an Instagram post about positivity and hope. I worked all day - put on the best webinar I've ever done for this company. I made pancakes, eggs, and bacon for a brunch. Jess came up and we hung out for a bit. We went on a drive around the neighborhood, and then I grilled up some cheeseburgers - a real treat, but not too much. Probably the most sensible birthday treat meal I've ever had. Had a Left Hand Peanut Butter Milk Stout and a Take 5 candy bar too - some sugary favorites. Jess left and I chilled out with a new Joe Rogan Experience.

That's it; simple and uneventful. 

I wonder if that is a metaphor for things to come. A return to sensible living and simplicity. Shying away from excess and luxury. Jess got me my ultimate luxury dream yesterday - a Louis belt (albeit a knock off, but still...) That's the epitome of excess to me - a $200 belt. I never pulled the trigger on it because I thought it was too outlandish. But now I have the belt to go with the wallet she got me years ago...

So what am I looking at for my 38th year? 

A very odd start, that's for sure. I don't know how long this will last - there is a chance I'll still be writing about this next year on my birthday. Since the theme is undoubtedly "uncertainty", I know the best action is to focus on what I can actually control. 

So what can I control? 

My diet. Assuming there is not a shortage on food, I have control over what I put into my body. I've done very well over the past year and a half - down about 35lbs since August 2018. I need to recognize and celebrate that. I get down on myself about my weight too often; I don't congratulate myself on accomplishments nearly enough. So good job man, keep it going and do even better. I'd really like to be 165 - a full 50lbs down. I am between 26 and 27 BMI right now.; At 165 I would be between 24 and 25 - this is normal! I was between 31 and 32, so that's some great progress! 

What do I really want to do for my health? I think that I need to make a fundamental change in my tendency to eat everything that I have. I've never kept a lot of food in the house because I would usually eat it all. If it was there, I ate it - which made dieting very difficult. I have to make a change to see the food in my pantry differently. I'm starting that with all the "rations" I bought for quarantine. trying not to eat all the soups, rice, jerky, etc. Focusing on what I need to eat to survive, and stashing the rest in case it's ever not available. 

I need to keep an emergency supply in the pantry at all times, and not eat it. 

Learnto say no and not give in to temptation. Practice discipline.